Chapter One

I haven’t done this before. You know this, and on the one hand you’re simultaneously mindful and considerate of it. Going slow, being gentle. But on the other hand, you know this means you’re in control. And this excites you beyond your own self-control.

You know that if I give even the slightest hesitation, you can grab my wrists and have your way with me. And you know that I’d probably enjoy that…eventually.

We meet for drinks at a restaurant bar nearby. It’s the suburbs. It’s a Wednesday night. It’s quiet and while quiet might sometimes mean private, there are so few people around that this escapade feels like it’s the only thing worth watching for everyone in this sleepy neighborhood.

You don’t seem bothered though. At fifty-three, you’ve lived a lifetime and learned not to fret about what others think. In the divorce, your ex got the kids, but you got the house in this upper-middle class neighborhood.

And now you sit at this bar and leer at me, this shy little thirty something man who wants to be a boy. Or a girl. Or just your bitch. Really, I don’t know what I want and you know this. You know I need someone like you to teach me what I want.

At 5’9 and 160 pounds, I’m not that little. But next to your thick 6’5 225lb stature I feel little. I feel defenseless and frightened.

Why does that feeling attract me to men like you? I often wonder what might be the evolutionary answer to my attraction to beefy men who could snap me in two and who are almost mean enough to do so. Almost.

It’s possible I feel, somewhere deep down, if I can curry the sexual desire of such a man, then maybe he’d protect me. Take care of me. All for the satisfying pleasure of my body.

I’m thinking this as you put your hand on my back and throw down your third whiskey. You want to whisper in my ear, but instead of leaning over, you pull me toward you. I’d have fallen off the stool, but your hand grasps my opposite shoulder tight and suspends me in mid-lean.

You come close to whisper, but instead of words I just feel your whole hot wet tongue lather my ear and probe it roughly. You don’t care that the bar tender is around, or that a nice nuclear family is celebrating a 5th birthday at the table behind us as you send shivers up and down my body and straight into my cock. You don’t care at all, because when you grab my inner thigh, you don’t even whisper the words “I can’t wait to get you home baby.”

I freeze. Under my business casual slacks, my cock is throbbing against a pair of red panties you ordered for me and insisted I wear. I normally wear boxers, so the restricting sensation is uncomfortable, yet a paradoxical feedback loop of arousal.

Impatient with the bartender, you slap down enough cash to more than cover our bill. You pull me up by my upper arm and then place a hand on my lower back. It seems like a gentlemanly gesture at first, but once we’re in the parking lot you’re practically pushing me toward your silver Lexus. I teased you about your old man car when I first saw it, but really it just made the old man persona I’ve lusted after since I was a teenager even more real.

When we get to the passenger side, you open the door for me like a gentleman, but then shove me in like a brute. Before I can get my bearings, you’re already in the driver’s seat, grabbing me by the back of the head, and suffocating me with your tongue down my throat.

I’ve never kissed a man before. Usually, it’s me on the other end of this, though I’m remarkably more consensual.

But while the way you come at me scares me, the way you lust after me makes me feel special, worth protecting. Safe.

Your soft lips envelop my own as your mouth dominates my face. My beard is thicker and longer, but your grey stubble still feels more masculine to me.

I reach up to rest my hand on your cheek, but before I touch it, you grab my wrist and pull my hand toward your lap. Somewhere in the chaos, you’ve already pulled your cock out and now it’s in my hands, before I could even see it under the flickering parking lot light.

We groan simultaneously when I feel the heat of your shaft hit my palm. I can’t decide if I want to stroke it gently and explore, or if I want to grasp it and tug at it hard. So I take turns doing both and here you seem to afford me some liberty to choose. Perhaps you’re distracted yourself as your hands slide through the buttons of my shirt and search for my nipples. I purr and melt into you further as you find one and flick it. I am completely under your spell.

You release my head and I finally see your cock. It’s cut, thick and veiny, at least 6 inches long, though I can’t quite see the end of the shaft through the cloth of your pants. You’re adjusting yourself, perhaps getting ready to put it away and drive. But I feel my mouth watering and something comes over me. My head is suddenly darting toward your lap, my mouth open, dripping with drool from our mix of saliva. I try to open it as wide as I can. I want to take it all the way to the back of my throat in one go. I’ve never touched another man’s cock let alone sucked one until this moment, so I’m probably being over ambitious, but I’ve fantasized about this for decades and can’t help myself.

Just as my lips are about to reach the tip, I feel you grasp a handful of hair at the back of my head and throw me back onto the passenger door.

I look at you, eyes wide, somewhat in shock, but somewhat pleadingly.

You click your tongue at me. “Did daddy give you permission to taste his cock?”

I shake my head slowly and say “No sir.”

You painfully slide your massive cock back into your pants and zip up. I almost cry. Like a child who’s had their favorite toy taken as punishment.

“Looks like daddy needs to teach you some manners when we get home,” you say as you start the car and reverse it out of the spot.

I buckle up, my hands shaking, my nerves wrecked from being more turned on than I have ever been in my life and more scared for my safety than I ever have been. The ride back to your six-bedroom home is ten minutes long. You keep your hand on my thigh the whole drive, inches from my throbbing cock. You don’t say a word and my mind is racing with all the ways you could pleasure me and hurt me when we arrive.

We pull into your three-car garage. The other two spots are empty, save for a lawn mower and a few bikes.

You order me out of the car and tell me to stand in the middle of the garage and strip.

“But, keep the panties on,” you say as you walk toward the doorway and turn on the main lights.

I look around and see windows on the far end your garage. I turn back to you, but you’re leering at me hungrily with a wretched smile on your face. You know I’ll be exposed. You know your neighbors might see you with a naked man in your garage. You don’t care. It’s what you want in this moment, and you’re a strong confident man who takes what he wants. And I’m what you want, naked in your garage right now. So I obey.

I pull my shirt off and my nipples immediately harden as the cool air hits them. My balls shrivel up as I pull my pants down, but my cock still strains against the lacy fabric of these high waisted panties.

You look me up and down and circle me from a distance. Examining your prey. I shiver, maybe from excitement, cold, fear or all three.

“Clothes stay out here. When you’re in my house, you never wear clothes,” you pause and look me up and down. “At least not men’s clothes, understood?”

“Yes sir,” I say. Somehow my spirits are lifted because the way you say that makes me realize you want me back here again, that this isn’t just a one-time thing. It’s a validation I know I shouldn’t indulge in, but I need it.

You walk toward me and plant a deep kiss on my lips. You push me up against your Lexus and I feel the cold metal press against my skin. I can feel the grittiness of dirt that’s built up on the car against my hairy legs. Normally this would bother me, but right now the feeling of filth just turns me on.

I wrap my arms around your neck and hold on close as I lift my self onto my tippy-toes. I feel your cock throbbing against mine.

Your hands run up and down my body. You thrust both hands into my panties and squeeze my ass hard. I squirm and yelp with surprise and excitement.

“I love it,” you say gently as you run your fingers through the hair on my ass cheeks. “I love how you carry this masculine body so delicately, so femininely. The contrast, it just drives me crazy.”

It’s an odd thing to say, I think, when you’ve got me mostly naked, pressed up against your old-man car in your cold garage. But it’s sweet and comforting nonetheless and makes this raw lustful experience feel somewhat more romantic.

I feel your hands rotate in my panties. The waist band goes tight around my stomach and loosens abruptly with a tearing sound. I moan as I feel the shreds of panty cloth slide from around my balls and between my legs. You pull the panties to your nose and take a deep breath.

“Mmm, yea daddy’s going to keep these,” you say.

I get nervous realizing I have no other pairs of underwear. The uncertainty of it all just makes me more lightheaded and lost and more willing to give in and leave everything to you.

After one more deep breath, you squeeze my cheeks, forcing my mouth open slightly and shove the panties into my mouth. I whimper a bit, and I’m not sure if it’s an involuntary sound or if I just wanted to hear my own muffled voice.

You smile and spin me around, so my chest is pressed against the car. You push my back down slightly and pull me out by the waist so that my ass is in full view to you. I turn my head back and realize that if your neighbors were to peer in at just the right angle, they’d see my ass fully exposed. But they’d also see your face hover just above it, your nose just inches from my crack.

I can feel your breath getting closer and I arch my back more and push my ass closer to your face. Without warning you grab my hips and bury your tongue into my ass.

I’ve dreamt of having my ass eaten for years, but to feel your hot wet mouth absolutely dominating my ass. Well, it’s indescribable. I feel like I’m floating. All my brain power is devoted to processing the intense waves of sensation your tongue is giving me as it explores my virgin hole.

I’m moaning into the cold metal of your car door, trying to focus on and micro movement of your tongue as it changes shape and twists through crack. I’m panting and grinding against your face. Or at least trying to, because you’re grasping my hips to hard I can barely move. The firm grip of your hands hurts, but I love it. I never want you to let go.

But with one final suck and smack on my ass cheeks, you stop and stand up. You grab one of my wrists from the top of your car and squeeze it hard as you pull me into the house.

Being paraded naked through the enormous empty house makes me feel something I haven’t felt in years. Like a child discovering a new exciting playground for the first time.

My eyes are darting around, trying to take in the new space, but you’re pulling me so hard, and fast you’re almost dragging me.

I watch your large muscular frame charge up the stairs. My eyes fix on your tight ass flexing in those dark blue dress slacks. As much as I want to see and feel your naked body, something about the being fully naked while you’re fully dressed emphasizes the power imbalance between us. Reminds me I’ve submitted myself to you. Excites me.

When we reach the top of the stairs you lead me through the large double doors of your elaborate master bedroom. The room is enormous, a large king size bed sits at one end and a small sitting area with a couches is by the entrance. You stop in the middle of the room, but keep pulling my wrist, swinging me hard and throwing me to the floor before your bed.

My head is spinning and by the time I get my bearings and begin to get up, you’re over me and pushing me to me knees and sliding me up against the end of the bed.

Before my sight clears I can already smell your scent approaching me and when I look I’m face to face with the fly of your pants.

You pull the shredded panties out of my mouth and I whimper with relief as my jaw finally relaxes. Only momentary relief though.

I look up wide eyed and you stare back at me with such intensity that I understand what’s coming next. With one hand you pin my head against the footboard and with the other you undo your pants and let them fall to the floor. Your bulge is straining against your briefs, and you press my face against it, pushing my head harder against the footboard. The heat radiating from your cock on to my face melts away any resistance I have. I know I should ask for permission, but you’re grinding so hard against my face I’m almost smothered.

I lift my arms to pull your waist band down and feel the intensity of heat on my face rise as I’m skin to skin with your hard pulsating cock. I feel every throbbing vein against my cheeks. I’m so close I can’t even really see it clearly, but the smell drives me wild. I open my mouth and stick my tongue out to taste you, somewhere on your shaft. You groan deep from your belly and loosen your grip on my head slightly.

You want me to take control, at least for a bit. So I get to work. I wrap my hands around your ass and thighs and grip on to brace myself. Your legs are so muscular and hard, they almost distract me from your massive cock in my face. Almost.

Now that I see it completely, I realize it’s easily 7 inches, maybe more. I spit and slobber all of over the top before burying my face under the bottom of your shaft. I nuzzle in the crook between your shaft and your balls. Your deep musky scent is even thicker here and I spread my knees apart to get low enough to really work your balls. They’re big and hairy. I open my mouth and stick my tongue out and feel their full weight. They’re heavy. The idea that their full of cum makes my own cock throb and bounce. I want to work my own 6 inch shaft simultaneously, but I don’t want to take my hands off your body.

I twist my head a bit and rub my nose into your perineum and take a deep breath. It’s slick with sweat and let my tongue taste the salty hairy forest. You push my head deeper in and moan, signaling my play time is over, and that you’re back in charge.

You grab a hand full of my hair and pull my head out so it’s tilted back. I’m staring into your eyes with my mouth agape. You lean down a bit and spit a thick wad into my mouth. Mostly. I feel strings of your saliva land across my face as you spit three or four more times into me. By the time I realize you’re lubing me up, I feel the heat of your thick cock sliding down the length of my tongue.

I can’t decipher whose moans and groans are whose as the tip of your cock hits what I think is the back of my throat. Your groans are so deep I can feel them reverberate through your cock and into my mouth.

Without warning you pull back slightly and slam your cock deeper into my mouth, teaching me that what I thought was the back of my throat was just the beginning of it.

It takes all my focus and concentration to control my gag reflex. I’ve practiced on cucumbers and carrots, but nothing could have prepared me for the real intensity of your flaming hot cock thrusting into me with all your force.

You’ll teach me later that this was far from all your force. That all things considered, these rough hard thrusts into my throat with your heavy balls slapping against my bearded slobber-soaked chin, are relatively gentle and controlled compared to the real power you had in those hard ass cheeks that I grip onto and feel flex as you skull fuck me at your leisure.

Just when I think I’ve figured out the rhythm of your thrusts and pace out my breath, you increase your pace. My eyes are watering, but I try to clear them and look up at your face. You’re starring right into my eyes with such intensity that I feel waves of pleasure shiver through my body and into my cock. Your attention is fully on me and while my therapist has told me to work on this, I ignore the advice and feel energized by it. I am the center of your world right now and regardless of whatever failing and issues of codependence that it might signal in me, I don’t give a shit. I love it. The way you look at me right now makes me feel like you desire me to the point of obsession and that’s all I want right now.

I see the muscles in your face strain harder around your eyes. Only for a moment, because suddenly you’re thrusting harder, slamming my head harder against the footboard and my eyes water and blur so much I close them and try to focus on relaxing my whole body. I feel the muscles I’m gripping in your ass tighten. Your thrusts get deeper but shorter and faster.

I feel the spasm vibrate from the base of your cock first. Then your strokes get longer and harder. And then I feel a hot shot of something in the back of my throat. You throw your head back and groan even louder than before and I feel your entire cock vibrate as spurt after spurt of cum shoots into me. I need to swallow, to clear my mouth and make space to breathe, but I don’t want to miss the taste. I let as much of it as possible flow toward the front of my mouth and under my tongue and hold it there. But I’ve never done this before, so as I try to maneuver the fluid around my mouth while your cock still thrusts into it, I lose some of your cum and it dribbles into my beard. I’m disappointed in myself for this. I’ll do better next time, I think. But as I feel the hot liquid cooling as it soaks into my beard, I realize I like the idea of having your cum drenching any and every part of me and want to feel what it’s like to have it dry on my skin and left there for hours.

Finally, I feel your grip loosen and you begin soften slightly. Your still hard, but beginning to recede and make space in my mouth. I finally let go of your ass pull my hands toward your cock. I don’t want any of that cum to go wasted so I support your shaft as it falls from my mouth.

I open my eyes and look up at you. I swish the cum around in my mouth and onto my tongue and taste it. It’s salty but the flavor is so unusual. I can’t describe it, but I also don’t want to lose it. I want to savor it. But I also want to feel it fill my belly. To take it deep inside me.

Through your panting you smile down at me and say “What have you got there?”

I open my mouth wide and show off to you the pool of your cum that I’ve saved on my tongue.

“Good boy,” you say, cupping one of my cheeks in one hand and gentle petting my head with the other.

That’s all I needed to hear. I close my mouth swallow down your load and feel more fulfilled than I ever have in my life. I open my mouth again and squeeze the last few drops of your load from the tip of your cock and into my mouth. I suck your shrinking cock clean until you take a step back and let out a satisfied sigh.

You look at me slumped on the floor. Your eyes go down to my hard throbbing neglected cock. But I don’t want you to do anything with it. I feel completely satiated and could lie there on the floor and fall asleep against the foot board right now.

You understand this, knowing what I want and need better than I know myself. You walk toward me and wrap me in your arms. The embrace is so warm and gentle, it’s hard to believe you almost skull fucked me into a concussion moments ago. You lift me up and carry me to the head of the bed. You squeeze me close and hold me with one arm as you use the other arm to throw aside the covers and then you slowly place me down on to the bed. You throw the covers on me.

“I’ll be right back,” you whisper into my ear with a gentle kiss.

I hear your foot steps shuffle out of the room and down the stairs. I hear you open the fridge, but that’s honestly the last thing I hear.