Derelict on HotGuySecret
71
Dear Diary: Frank has started seeing a new woman, some Shella or Carla or Della or Marla or somethin like that. She looks sweet I guess Frank says she is. Shes got big tits of course. And a big ass. Frank likes a big ass. He messages me before he brings her back to his place, I’m sposed to turn off the lights like nobodys home and then just sit here and listen. It gets him off he says to know I’m sittin up here in the dark listenin to him and Simpy or Sappy or Woozy or Daffy or whatever the hell her name might be. She dont know anything about it of course. But it turns Frank on he says to know I can hear him when he’s fuckin. Thats what he tells me. He’s in the process of rigging up an in-house imager too thats so I can not only listen but also watch. That idea turns him on some extra I can tell. Well frankly Frank, that idea kinda pisses me off. But whatever. Who knows, maybe I’ll get into it, the future belongs to itself.
(. . . I wonder if he’d go for Steves wife? Shara likes bad boys. How could she not like a bad ex-cop . . . ?)
Hes got a funny round face that sort of squinches in towards the middle. All surrounded by close cut black hair and a titely trimmed beard. Its not an overly brite face. Its a brutally open face, a what the duh face, usually decorated with a sneer. I was coming home from today when the door of his apt started swinging open. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and his arms, fat with muscle and thick with hair, looked extremely cuddleable. “Yeah umm,” he says, “I need to talk to you.” So I say “Ok” and as we’re standing there talking him in the halfopen doorway me on the landing I suddenly notice a pair of long, narrow fingers appearing on either side of his waist wiggling squirming curling round slowly followed by smooth, feminine hands that start slippy-sliding there way overtop his generous belly. Then I see the top half of a head appearing over his shoulder, a womans head. Apparently shes standing on tip-toes, the top of her head keeps bobbing up and down and I can hear her giggling as she clutches at him with her hands. “I need you to um,” Frank says in his low rumbling voice, “I need you to give me your key again. I need to um –” the womans hands disappear a moment then reappear on top of his shoulders, she seems to be trying to lift herself up to see over him, shes pushing up against him, probly shes pressing those big tits of hers into his back – “get up there and do some umm mmm . . . lectrical work.”
“Ok,” I say, tho not very cheerfully – frankly Frank, because of her. Already he was moving away, already he was starting to shut the door turning round to face her.
“Just slide it under the door,” he mumbled and then, reaching up to grab hold of one giant tit, closed the door in my young, pale, dismayed face.
Dear Diary, I wonder if she knows about how he is in the morning, about how he likes to stretch and flex his muscles and then nestle back down into the bed and play with his own body, his nips and his balls and his cock – play with them all nice and slow inbetween big hot yawns. How he likes to have somebody feeling him up thru the sheets while he lies there still only half awake. I wonder if she knows about that. I wonder if shes ever taken the time to really explore his body, marking every detail with its own special lick or sucking kiss? Has she run just the tips of her fingers over his chest, across his nipples, down his belly? Maybe . . . Has she sucked on his balls yet? Tasted his ass? I have, more than once. Well, twice exactly. So far. Why? Well partly cuz I think maybe he might provide me cover. Maybe even shuffle it gone . . .
Its a good time in a funny way to be alive just now, if you need to make a kill. Easy to fix it so everyone puts it down say to one of the gang of youts running around. Frank says the cops cant really do nuthin about them. Theres too many, and theys too mean. They dont care if they die, they only care that when they die they’ve killed at least two cops. Diminish the enemy, thats there strategy. Thats there code. The cops keep hoping they’ll kill each other off, sometimes theres fights between rival gangs. Mostly they just skirmish. They roam the streets at unlikely hours, appearing almost at random as if out of nowhere, little storms of dust blowing down the sidewalk. Or like clouds of bugs moving down the street, dancing, hopping and bopping, weaving round each other, drawing together and then scattering, drawing together again, moving forward ready to encircle and consume any unlucky passerby, high, high, just get high is all they want to do they like it there. Anyone could be their victim. Anyone . . . Anytime . . . Anywhere . . .
Nah. Dear Diary, if youts did get her she’d have to be raped first. And I aint goin that far. So nah. These are just fantasies . . . fantasies . . . Still, if your gonna eat somebodys ass out, its my opinion that they owe you something. I mean, he might rape her . . .
I want my brother back you see.
I can hear them going at it now, the bed shaking, her moanin, him groanin. Its kinda hot, I guess. Maybe I wouldnt mind seeing him in action. His fuck pump going up & down, up & down . . . Hmmaybe. I dunno.
“Mmm daddy good,” she moans. “Yeah . . . Yeah . . . Daddy good. Daddy goood!” God. How can he stand such squawking.
72
Dear Diary: Tonite when I came home Frank was already here in my apt. Drilling holes. Twisting screws. Securing detectors thatd feed signals and eat them, pitch and receive. Imager nodding to vid.
“Shes a fuckin fuck of a fuck,” he told me. I took it this was a compliment. I watched was watching his shoulders move under his shirt as he affixed some sort of plate to the wall. “You hear us last nite?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Good soundtrack huh? Man your gonna fuckin luv watchin it too. The way her tits slosh around when I’m on top of her. And when shes on top of me, with her hair hangin down, and those big tits danglin, big ol nipples right in front of my face . . . Shiiit, shes got nipples bigger than your eyes. Seriously man, you should try a woman sometime.” I look up at him from the couch. He put down the screwdriver, came over and knelt in front of me. Opened my legs up with his hands, ran his palms down the inside of my thighs. “See, if you was my woman,” he says, “this is how I’d do you.” He bent forward, bumping his face, his whiskery mouth, lightly against my crotch. “I’d be the one givin you head. And when I ate out your pussy it’d look like this.” Nose lips chin he ran his face up and down my crotch. “And I bet youd taste sooo fuckin sweet.” Then leaned back on his haunches and grinned. “Too bad you aint a woman, huh?”
What was his trip these days? Why was he being like this? “I didnt ask you for nuthin,” I said. “You –”
Just then we heard a pattering of feet on the stairs below, and a delicate rap on Franks apt door. “Fraankyy,” singsonged a high-pitched silly sounding voice. It was followed by a kind of squealy giggle – “like an amused pig,” I thought. Frank stood up he left immediately, he thunked down the steps and let her into his place rite tite away. When he came back up a few minutes later he told me he’d finish the install another nite. Then he said, “You be listenin up here. I’m gonna give you a good fuck.” He told me I should lie down on the floor and press my ear to the carpet. He pointed me to the exact spot. “I’m gonna do her in the kitchen,” he said, “at least to start with. See what kind of a mess we can make with food.” He looked round quick and, after listening a sec, unzipped his pants. “On your knees,” he ordered. “I aint had time to shower lately. Wash me.”
Theyre going at it again now. I can hear them loud and clear. I dont care. I have one ear plugged with music. With the other I listen to the muffled sounds below, mostly checking for anything unusually spectacular in case Frank quizzes me about it later. After awhile I get up and sit crouched in front of the window, looking out into the darkness. I dont care. In my mind its afternoon. In my mind its morning. In my mind the air smells dank and cool and new. The crocuses have opened their throats, yellow purple white, to the sun – drunk deep, drunk there fill – then limpened, withered, and died. Soon will come the rosy tulips, the delicious irises, magnificent florid red and whiskered violet heads on long thick green stalks. But now its the glad daffodils that are in bloom, sunny and brite, while on the bushes, on all the trees each budding leaf a new hand, a new face nodding with fresh wonderment, bobbing in the spring breezes saying hello.
73
Silence. Silence like the silence after a silent scream rages inside my ears. A pressure inside my head, like the same thingthrobbing. Pulsing pushing punching. Like something trying to be born. Pushing punching hard. Against bone. Against the seams holding the pieces of my skull together. Thats how in gets out gets.
He’s a hulking shape, black in the doorway in the hallway from the floor of the closet, times when he made me sleep there. Right before he shut the door. Sometimes there was something lying on the floor, just dirty clothes maybe but I could wrap up a pair of shoes in them and make a pillow. Sometimes thered be a bathrobe hanging from a hook I’d pull that down and use it as a blanket. I didnt like how it smelled of course of him but it was something I understood. Sometimes he opened the door and threw something at me, a pair of rancid socks maybe or some stinkin reekin old underwear, so bad no matter where I put them I could still smell him. Sometimes in the middle of the nite the closet door opened and I woke to the feel of a foot pushin against me softly, over and over, then kickin me, lightly bam, bam, bam, bam. “Wake up,” he’d say. Then when I did he’d shut the door again and I’d lie there in the dark listenin to him creep about the room. Wonderin what was gonna happen next. Maybe a drawer would slide open. Maybe he’d reach for a belt. Or maybe a hairbrush. I hated that, he’d use both sides, spank first then puncture. Or maybe he wouldnt and I’d hear him climb back into bed again and lie there laughin a little just softly laughin. Then rollin over and goin to sleep. Like it all meant nuthin. I mean, I never knew. There wasnt no rhyme no reason just whatever his moods. If it was sposed to be music it never made any sense to my ears. A hulking shape. Strate flat shoulders, a flat square head and that ugly squashed-in lookin face . . . standin over me . . . pullin his dick out . .
I want Simon back. I have to message him. I need to make him. I dont tell him. I make him. He’s the only one who knows. He dont mind. He dont mind. He acts like he dont mind. I dont know if he likes it I cant tell that but I know he’s willin. Or not anyway I give it to him.
Actually he’s kinda low. Always was really. From way back. Even when we was kids there was always somethin about him . . .
Hes not a perv. But hes a son-of-a-perv. Lol lol
He wouldve got some disipline if I’d been around. Real disipline, real consequences, every time he started actin up or actin out or whatever the fuck you wanna call it. Dirty little fucker. Consequences have to be felt to be known, and I’da been the one to tell it. He wouldnt like the way my hand felt. Or my fingerssss. “This is not a good consequence” thats what my fingers would say thats what the flat of my hand would say. Like that time he let himself get fucked up by that guy who picked him up. I’da beat him black & blue over that, just for bein that much of a dumbass. Beat the shit out of em thats my motto. Then tell I’d him if he needed dick he could get all he wanted from me from then on. But for bein so stupid and so weak and too stupid to even know he was weak, I wouldve really told him about that I wouldve told him fffuckin plenty about that. Poked a hole in the middle of that lie rite dam quick. Then filled that hole with dick I wouldve told him plenty alrite alrite fffuckin little dirty dumbass. And hell after all you want it I got it what could be better than that? Cmere. CMERE
I couldve been a real father to that one. A real dad, we belonged together, I coulda made somethin outa him, if only that fffuckin bitch had given me half a chance.
Get the fuck out of my head.
74
Frank was here again today. Frank was here again today. He finished installing the vid screens for the imagers. He’d been drinking beer all afternoon, by nitetime he was half-smashed by nitetime he was half-smashed despite my having made him eata coupla sandwiches earlier. He’s actually kinda funny when hes drunk it turns out. He ended up dancin all around my apt doin a striptease. Frankly Frank ur not a bad dancer either. A bit heavy footed, alot of weight carried in the hips and thighs and ass, but he moved them around nice. Turned me on anyways. I dunno where his girlfriend was by this time. We smoked some code and later I sucked him for quite awhile. The alcohol slowed things down a bit. Then he fucked me for quite awhile. We did some more code and after that kicked in he came alrite alrite in the end in my end lol, and all in all we seemed to be having a wonderful time.
After the sex he slept when he woke up in the wee hours he was in for some reason a pissy mood. I massaged his back for him then ate his ass out some to relax him. When he’d got in a better mood like to celebrate he informed me he’d done more than just connect things up so I could watch him. Pointing to a corner of the ceiling opposite my bed he told me he’d installed an imager there too. Stuck a thumb against his chest then made a V with his fingers and held them in front of his eyes. I’m watchin you. And then he got out of bed, stooped over farted at me and left.
Fucker! So I guess I wont be just sittin around pickin my nose anymore. Not in this room anyways not in the bathroom either fucker put a pinhole feed in there too. Took me over an hour and I had to use a magnifier but I found it I think. At least one.
In the fuckin bathroom. What a dildo. Lol what a dick.
The last time I saw him the last time I saw him he had the sides and the back of his head shaved, the hair on top standing straight up all short and messy. Now its cut close to the scalp all over. Plus he’s grown a full beard. This makes him look somehow more like dad. Who art in heaven lol. Not because He had a beard he didnt. But because it makes his face and eyes look a different way. Or is it time. In his eyes the sorrow has grown cold, the tangled roots of it grown deep into the black is what you see. When he lets you see anything.
Sometimes he lets me. Its the only road.
Ive missed you Steve. Come home.
75
“In peace.” Thats how I wouldve said it as a child if, as a child, I’d ever tried to express such things. “Just itself,” I mightve said. And so me too.
But now I mean, screw peace anyway. What is it but stagnation.
I think I prefer silence really. Thats the one thing harder than any other to attain. Seriously, try to exist without language how long can you sustain it? But to be a bird or a cow or a bear or a lizard or even a caterpillar or a worm or a fly. I wish. I look up at the vid screen. I’m a little late – its way past ten which is when Frank’d told me to start watching. Hes already got her on the bed/unh/his woman his babe. Hes kissing her working his tongue over her into the pockets of her neck with his lips working his way lapping his tongue out and longfat now at the slopes of her mountainous breasts. I wondered if she liked that. I wondered if that felt good to her. Taking in big slurpy mouthfuls smoothly halfswallowing the tips sucking harderharder pulling at the nipples with his lips his teeth carefullyharder. Then planting more kisses down her belly/burying his head between her uplifted thighs. She grimaces she smiles she moans with pleasure her mouth opens with a squeal I imagine one anyway I cant hear it theres no sound. “Oooo, ooooo!” is what I imagine her saying. But what I think is yeah honey I been there too honey been there done that already sweetshit. So fuck you.
Before he climbs on top of her he puts on a sleeve. I told him he’d better and he knows why – I dont need to be catching no disease. He catches my eye, on the screen hes looking up at me. Yeah ur a good boy, I tell him. I dont think I have nuthin to worry about really. He makes all his women get screened. Does everything but fuck them until they do. Of course they always do. If they wont even after hes done a strip and wagged his hardon in front of there faces well I guess we all know why.
I look at the vid again. Hes grindin it into her. His ass – and its a big one – lifts up & down and up & down. Well I have to admit that starts to turn me on a little. I like the way his big hairy butt rolls as he pumps it into her the flexing curves his back and ass makes his shoulders round with gathered muscle legs slightly splayed pumping pumping hips shifting legs pushing up against her hard pumping pumping pumping. She arches her back her face contorts with a kind of agonized desire hes pumping her really hard now really slamming it in if there was sound I bet I could hear his balls making that slapping sound like they do when they smack up against my ass, when he fucks me . . . Do I look like she does too? Does my face look like that when I’m in exstacy? Oh I bet I do I bet I do.
Then I grin. Franks just looked up looked straight thru the dimly lit slightly fuggy air into the imager . . . at me. Thru the distance I can see his lips moving. I lean forward to take a closer look. I’m . . . fucking . . . you, he says. I’m fffucking you. I’m ffuck ffuck fffucking yooou. Jesus. And yeah I have to say that gets me going pretty good. In fact right about thens when I whip it out and start jackin. Frank puts his head down and presses deep inside her – holds it . . . holds it . . . then starts pumping again, lifts his head up mouth open wide eyes rolling back . . . And halfrising bent halfover keeping my eyes on the screen jacking it hard yup yup from what I can see it looks like me Frank and his female fuck are all about to start cumming together . . . like, now . . . and now . . . and nooow . . .
76
Thomás is back. Hes painting my apt, slapping buckets of liquid color onto the eight walls of my two copious rooms. The kitchens already half-started and why look its only early afternoon. After lunch I tell him to take his shirt off. He grins as he does, my Thomás just a flash of a grin but at least its there. He still dont smile really but he grins a little more often now tho its begun to get an automatic air about it. Its a bit too much like a trick hes learned but hes coming along I think. I’m learning where to tickle him and I do enjoy seeing that grin alright alright. And he knows it. I also like seeing him painting with his shirt off. He dont mind in fact that grin that semiautomatic grin tells me his body likes that I enjoy seeing how he moves his body knows it recognizes mmmhmm his beautiful intelligent body. Painting soon makes his neck and shoulders stiff poor boy. I rub them for him periodically. He relaxes/slumps almost immediately really hes terrubly prone to laziness I bet he’d be ez to train as a slut. Yknow just lie there and take it, boy kinda thing. He accidently dribbled a few speckles of paint on the floor earlier and I responded of course by making him bend over and take a few hearty slaps on the rump. Squeezing those meaty globes a little inbetween times too of course. Yknow I really do think hes come to appreciate all the attention I give him. He stands taller (sometimes) his shoulders stoop now when hes tired or moody but usually thats all. The skin of his chest and back smoothing into scar like forgotten furrows the last of his mothers welts the muscles underneath plump yet long. It knows my hands this body mmm his intelligent body. It speaks to my palms whispers to my fingertips whimpers at my slap giggles and squeals under the scratch of my nails.
He tells me I remind him of his mother. Huh I think. He cannot remember his father. All he has are a couple of old print snaps. He brings one with him one day and shows it to me. His father and I look nothing alike.
He tells me he masturbated once “I tugged it” he says while thinking about me. My hands pause inches above where his shoulders meet the back of his neck. I ask him what I was doing when he was thinking about me. He says Nuthing. With a little shrug.
I rub the entire length of his back passing the flat of my hands over his wings down the grooved narrow of his spine playing my fingertips in rippling strokes over the gentle rise where his buttocks begin. Pass by pass working my way in deep. I rub the small of his back with my thumbs awhile then move down center myself between his feet so I can start on his legs. Long well-constructed beautifully proportioned muscular straight legs. I begin tho with the feet the toes nuzzling each one between finger and thumb caressing the sole pressing deep into the arch then moving up, up, embracing piece by piece the entirety of the foot the thinness of the ankle the broadening calf two halves of molded muscle the tenderness behind each knee the thickening corded length of the back of the thigh . . . and then the buttocks those lovely hillocks those dusky delights my very own mouth opening my very own moon floating up on the rise . . .
It took days and days but the kitchens finally done. It looks good hes earned his reward. So when Ive finished his back I have him flip over and I begin to work on the other side too. I massage him for long while almost forever taking my time. Until all the lights vanish from the room. And from beyond. The window is black. The carpet is green. I lick him I bite him I suck him. Tits belly and balls. For hours and hours I bring him close close so sooo close until finally, finally I give him sweet pleasure painful release. Only then can he relax. He relaxs everywhere he collapses his whole body slumps hes asleep. And still I dont stop. His intelligent skins flecked with pearls of cum. Rich he tastes, pungent with sour & sweet.
77
I’m sitting by a window in my room. I stop looking out turn on a lamp sit down on the floor. I study the message Steve sent me earlier:
I need to see u
Me: Truble?
Steve: Me
Me: Call
Steve: Soon maybe
Steve: Real soon
Steve: Maybe
Me: Just call me
Steve: Fffucker
Its almost like a nickname. Steve:
Lttl fffucker
Me: Do u need what I think u need
Steve: Yes
Steve: Fffucker
Me: Tell me
Nothing.
Me: Tell me
That was it. At ten I turned on the vid screen, as I’d been instructed to earlier. Frank’d said he had something special to show me, for my birthday. I said it wasnt my birthday he said “Today is ur birthday.” Well what I saw when I pressed the button wasnt Franks hairy bottom. What I saw wasnt his screws jiggling tits. What I saw was me.
Frank tells me he used to do alot of surveillence work some of it dirty when he was a cop. He tells me he knows everthing about me and can find out whatever else he wants.
Dirty. Dirty dirty.
Im sitting on the floor staring at the vid in front of and slightly above me. I rub my nose reach under my shirt and scratch my belly. I glance about firtively I look at the vid then cock my head as if listening and slowly grin. My eyes return to the vid screen again and stay there. My lips make a tite o shape. My hands go to my crotch. I lean back on one elbow knees up and start rubbing and squeezing between my legs. Before long my legs are lying flat my pants are pulled down to my knees. My hands go to my underwear I start messin with myself. THen I glance behind me cock my head again and I look like I laugh. I look like Im laughing. TUrn back to the vid screen after messin with myself a few minutes more I open the fly of my underwear and pull my dick out then my balls which dangle hairily. Sit up and stare closer my face tinted blue in the vids light. Get to my feet my long dick sticking out kick off my pants and walk out of the picture. When I come back Ive got a bottle of massage oil in my hand. I lie back down on the floor knees up legs open wide and start wetting myself down. Long slow strokes up and down my shaft veiny and dark and the way Im positioned geez Im so fuckin big. I mean I look so fuckin big. A lazy stupified smile grows in my eyes theyre heavy lookin hypnotized. But when I cum my face is the picture of desperate pleasure rather ugily contorted hungrily deeply needing rapturous and then . . . this is bliss. It cums and goes. The screen goes blank.
Im gladly stunned. I want to see it again. I message Frank: Again
Almost immediately it starts replaying and I watch with even more interest. I lie on a pillow on the floor. My fingers go to my crotch. I unbutton my shirt. I pull my pants down. My eyes are transfixed by the image Im watching on the screen. I cannot believe that what Im seeing is me. It dont look like myself somehow it does. No it really is me. Lookit the body lookit the dick, its me Simon Ott. Me porn star! Gee I’m kinda hot
78
Gliding behind the clouds in my eyes – unknown moon unknown. Steve: I came real close to hitting Shara today
Its what we’ve been waiting for
Me: Do you want to meet
Steve: Yes
Me: When
Steve: Tonite
Me: Where
Steve: At the house
There was a brief blackout earlier today, but by 10 the current was flowing the streetlites was humming like stars on sticks. I turn on the vid, as instructed.
I see myself touching myself. I see myself gazing at the vid screen and starting to touch myself. I unbutton the lower half of my shirt. I run a hand up over my chest. I reach for my crotch.
Then the picture changes – now I see what I was watching on the screen. I see Frank fucking his screw. I see the rolling force of his back, her hips rising with his . . . I see me, pants pulled down to my knees, grabbing at my underwear. I see Franks face, his lips moving silently: Fffuck. Fffuck. Fffuck you. I’m fucking you. I’m ffffucking you. Then I see my own face up close and personal, grainy, shiiit I’m out of focus slightly just. But my eyelids are slack my mouth is slack my lips are . . . My jaw drops open then I see that I see that happen. My eyes widen . . . as they widen . . .
The picture changes. I see Frank, climbing on top of a body lying face down on his bed. I see a stretch of flank a glimpse of ass. It isnt his woman. It isnt me either but . . .
The imager pulls back the picture on the screen widens. I see a pair of long taut legs, muscular somehow squat. And that ass – yesss I know that ass. Frank climbs on board his dick a thick bulbous stiffly arced he hovers above that ass a moment positioning himself girding himself then punching down on it like a divebomber and with about just as much warning to judge by the reaction he gets. It goes in deep. He pulls out almost immediately almost almost not quite the whole way then shoves it back in again hard fast and deep. Its a punishing blow. The figure on the bed bends its head to the pillow biting on softness. Then Frank BUries it to the hilt again and as he does so the body on the bed JErks, it ARches, the head lifts up, the face revealing . . . pleasure, pain, pleasure . . .
And understanding. How long I waited for that look I never got. I cast my glance down the spasmed face to the empty gaping mouth, back up to those heavy rolling eyes, down to those heavy flailing limbs . . . Evry detail. Evry feature. Evry moment. Wait a minute wait a minute I know that guy.
Franks fffucking Thomás.
79
I hear the brite clink of ice falling into a glass. Then the shuffle of footsteps padding down the short hall. The sound of fizzing as he set his bubblewater on the table before sitting himself down beside me on the couch. Of course sometimes we’d ruff each other two cubs wrangling it out. Brothers mean friction and where theres friction theres heat and it seemed to drive him, this need to put on the heat. Sometimes he used his eyes to bore it into me sometimes his knee. Who knew. One nite we didnt fight. We watched the TV instead. People kept laughing. It sounded like there was a whole bunch of them. One time I was laughing too. Steve looked hard at me, stared. It made me stop but he kept on staring. Finally I turned and looked back at him. He kept on staring. I did too. He said, “Put your hand here,” and moved his eyes, slowly, delibritly, from my hand to his crotch. “Why?” I asked. “Because I told you too,” he said. He was fifteen I was thirteen. I was just hitting puberty good & hot he was already on his way to being a hardbody and then some. Shyly, I lay my hand where he’d pointed with his eyes. It made me feel breathless to do it, what I felt there. He was familiar, but the feeling I had then was so strange. My head got dizzy. The warm soft mound under my palm was swelling slowly. Rising. Growing . . . firmer and firmer. His penis, it was something I hadnt seen before not in years anyway, not since we was little. It felt like something . . . totally private, entirely his. I couldnt believe he wanted me to touch it even this much, thru his pants. It was the thing at the center of him, its roots grew into the deepest part of him. He didnt try to get me to do anything more, we just sat and watched the TV awhile like that him getting bigger under my hand. Thats all we did the first nite. The next time it happened we did it like that again and the next time after that I decided to move my hand around on him a little, just . . . twitching my fingers, adjusting there position. I noticed doing that got a reaction. His penis got stiffer. And the next time after that I tried pressing my palm down on him, just a little. Then a little more, so that the palm of my hand was curving round him, cupping him . . . He liked that alot he didnt say it but I could tell it alright alright. I mean it was hard to miss. He spread his legs a little wider pushed his hips forward more. After that we started doing all kinda stuff eventually I mean me touching him all diffrent kinda ways thru his pants while he got hard we’d keep it up off and on all evening until my mom got home. Soon as we heard the car pull in the door slam he’d pull his knees together and I’d slide to the floor rite then mom would come in with tired smiles for us and we’d be like nothins happenin hi mom whats been goin on with you. Sometimes we wouldnt even have to pretend because nothing had happened. That was somethin I noticed rite off, how some nites somethin would happen and some nites it wouldnt. He didnt always want me to touch him he always kept me guessin. It made me more intrested.
One nite he told me to lie down on the couch and put my head in his lap. Like a pillow. So then sometimes we’d watch the TV like that. Then maybe after awhile I’d roll my head around a little and I could feel his penis hard and harder against the side of my skull. I began to notice myself too caught myself thinking a coupla times about the stuff we was doing when I was jerking off. I’d only just started jerking off, but the white stuff came out now. Then one day as I was lying there evening had passed into nite my head was in his lap and I remember thinking how maybe it was time for me to do something a little more. I mean it was kinda like we’d been taking turns doing more stuff and now it was mine. So next time when he come back from the kitchen once and I put my head in his lap again this time I rolled over onto my side and nestled my cheek right down deep into his crotch, hooking one arm over his thigh curling my fingers under and he was really startled but he liked it too he be trembling he do. He inched his hips forward opened his legs a little wider plus they relaxed more thats how I knew. After we done stuff like that for awhile this one nite I pretended my nose itched and I rubbed it rite against him rite against the zipper of his pants rite where his penis was. Just then we heard mom coming into the house Steve pushed me off him and hustled upstairs quick and didnt come down for a good fifteen minutes. He told mom he’d been in the bathroom.
Those were candied days/full of hard sweetness. Exciting, inviting late summer mid autumn days evenings early winter. Heavy. Crisp. Bracing. I started thinking about the things we was doing more and more. I jerked off thinking about them more and more. I was looking forward more and more to the time we spent together. One nite when we was sitting there on the couch and he’d put my hand between his legs and I’d started giving him little squeezes rubbing my hand up and down on him but still just pretending in a way that I was only scratching my wrist he gave a sudden little jerk with his hips then he’d said, “You ever think about playing with it?” “Yeah,” I admitted I wasnt going to make him ask twice. It took awhile to pull down the zipper and work it out of his pants he was so stiff. His penis was very intresting to look at tho I’d never seen one so up close before. I studied it a long time then I reached out to hold it and when I did Steve twisted on the couch and grunted. When mom came home which she did rite then he jumped up quick stuffed his stiffy back in his pants and legged it upstairs before she could come in and notice anything. He came into my room that nite after we’d both gone to bed tho. He was dressed in his underwear nuthin else. His legs was long and lean his knees was bony his calves was tuff. He said, “Hey” but thats all then he just stood there. I looked up at him. I could see the glitter of his eyes catching lite from somewhere maybe moonlite, maybe a streetlite. “You wanna play with it again?” he asked in an almost whisper. “Ok,” I said. He took off his underwear his penis was already hard. Very hard. Very long and very hard. “What ya waitin for go on,” he said. He moved forward/I reached out into the dark and grabbed hold of him. I began to pull on him it wasnt too dificult to figure out what to do I guess I just did to him sorta like what I did to myself. I had some ideas I’d been thinking of like just where to touch him and when and how and I wanted to see if I was rite. I guess it worked he got very excited very fast it didnt take him hardly no time to cum. Just before he did he pulled his penis out of my hand and held it down so that his cum when he came shot all over me and the bed. I was too surprised to move and alot of it got on me. After he was done or almost done belly heaving in & out but not making any noise the whole time he didnt make hardly a sound he squeezed the last milky bit of it up his shaft flicking a few more stringy drops out onto me. He shook his penis at me like I dont even know what shaking out more drops on me like a dog he was still rock hard.
He didnt ask me to do stuff with him on the couch so much after that. He started whaling on me quite alot instead. Like just out of nowhere he’d cross a room and grab me, lift me up and toss me down onto the floor, crawl over me grind his fist into my gut teeth bared in my ear hit me in the sides a few times, then maybe he’d just jump up and walk off then maybe he’d turn around again and whale on me somemore really beat me up bad who knew. I tried everything. I tried giving in going limp I tried fighting back fighting back hard always trying to figure out the best way to handle him. He seemed to want something I dunno inbetween? I never hit him I half-tried it once he cuffed me ruff that hurt. But I’d wrestle him hard I’d try to fight him off if he got me in a bearhug or tried to tackle me. Sometimes I got excited, if we was rubbing up against each other just rite. Sometimes I think he made me get excited on purpose sometimes he’d grab my crotch and squeeze my balls so hard I’d cry out and he’d be like, “Dont be such a baaabyyy.” Then maybe he’d get up and walk off/but at nite sometimes he still comes into my bedroom and stands there in his underwear he takes his penis out and tells me to play with it. “Do it again,” he says. “Make me cum.”
Sometimes sometimes the next day even he suddenly comes up to me in the kitchen or in the hallway or whatever and reaches for me. I twist away start hunching down expecting a wrestle or a bearhug so hard it hurts but he says, “No. Cmere.” And he wraps his arms around me until I relax. “I’m sorry,” he says. Just once but he means it. He can be gentle sometimes.
Then he gives me a bearhug so hard it hurts. Seriously tears come into my eyes. It makes us both bust out laughin.
80
Of course I never said nothing about any of this to nobody. Never to nobody until you. Eventually I got to know his body well/at some time or other I mustve kissed nearly every inch of it tasted it licked my way into every hollow every corner every crevice. Thru the years we was together a hundred times I bet maybe more and a hundred more times too after Shara was out of the picture. At the beginning he could be pretty ruff. But after awhile when enuf time had passed when his mood had mellowed when he was how would I say it more than grateful more than pissed a kinda upsidedown thankful – he was I think satisfied just to be with me. There were even times when what we did together couldve been called making love. Not many times but some,,enuf.
Frank bought his own channel on the CompuSurv. At first it mostly just featured me. Me me and me, there I was, doing the monky wank jerking the string jacking myself like unh. Unh-unh. Then he started putting up some vids of himself, of him and whatever his latest screw was getting up to for instance. Then me and him made a few co-starring appearances together. All of us doing diffrent kinda scenes all of it in blackenwhite on purpose at first and also during those first months at least entirely without sound. Its funny but Frank seemed to have found his calling in doing this, making porn. Just amateur quality stuff but he found a way to make it special. He had a style crude and intense. Those early vids were doubtfully lit and completely unscripted just shit whatever was happening. But gradually as rooms became more familiar turning into apts turning into houses/homes as the same people showed up in diffrent scenes taking on the shape of relationships and so of characters then Frank began adding in bits of sound. Maybe conversations slightly out of sync maybe lovemaking noises but muffled or sudden blasts of noise bursting walls of silence or perfectly clear sound but from a completely diffrent vid. The more he filmed the more he took time to edit and fuck with what hed filmed sound picture cuts and fades various angles who got hooked up with who else and what they did and what can I say the man really enjoyed directing as much as he enjoyed fucking hed found his vocation he really loved his work. Eventually when the bottom floor apt of our house became available the old lady who lived there died she had a butt anurism her lifes passion leaked out her ass all over the couch but she was drunk and passed out so she probly didnt feel anything Frank rented the place installed a whole bunch more imagers and moved Thomás in. Along with Thomás there was always one or two other people living down there men women couples layovers temporary roommates whatever. The cast eventually grew large enuf for Frank to really start running his channel seriously then. He set it up – well I set it up but how I did the idea was his – when you went to it it was kinda like going into a house. In the first ‘rooms’ which was free you could see people interacting in completely nonsexual ways. They might be watching something on the CompuSurv or eating and maybe somebody new was there and they joke around a little or maybe somebody comes to the door and gets invited in. Maybe people flirt maybe they hug maybe they look at each other a certain way even if theyre sposed to be ‘with’ somebody else or an in-law/whatever thats all you see still you begin to get a sense of who these people are what theyre like how they know each other Frank added in some interviews too. People just made shit up you know I’m a student or I’m a dog trainer or I’m a lawyer but Frank made them stick to whatever character they decided on if they wouldnt they were pushed out. He took it that seriously and he expected them to too. Alot of the people really got into it tho some just for awhile others for a long time. Theyd go to work and then come home just live there lives only sometimes when they came home after a hard day and sat down they had there legs open wide crotch pointed at the imager while they talked to someone or read the paper if it was a guy maybe hed get a little hard if it was a woman maybe shed be wearing a skirt and youd see a length of inner thigh and just a shadowy flash of somethin more. Anyway in these first rooms you could watch all the vids you wanted as many times as you wanted. Get to know the cast/characters and pick up some hints about the kind of scenes they might get into. In the second batch of rooms which was also free tho you had to sign in now you got to watch clips of people in various stages of nakedness like there was a bedroom room a bathroom room sometimes just partially naked sometimes completely but anyways with the juicy bits almost always blurred out – tho sometimes, if you looked fast . . . There was one clip of me for instance getting undressed stepping into a shower washing myself all over spending an especially long time washing my ass then squatting washing between my legs which you couldnt see because it was blurred out but the blurry part was so big sometimes the head popped out lol. Another clip showed two people a man and a woman making out kissing mouths open tongues moving growing more and more passionate and the more passionate they grew the faster the cuts came the image got blurrier and blurrrier until finally it froze then faded completely away leaving nothing behind but the sound of a moan . . . Then flash/a mans head sucking on a tit and damn, you never thought them two wouldve got together at least not if that tit belonged to who you thought it did. So then youd go back to the first set of rooms to doublecheck now you was gettin hooked. Cute stuff, and the clips in the second set of rooms only played once for free if you wanted to see them again you had to pay a small fee. Very small, but from then on every new set of rooms never mind the basement & attic you entered or rather new set of scenes made available it cost you to get them. You could see all the clips in the upper levels twice or maybe just once for ur money/you had to pay to see them again. And always more. ‘Special Scenes’ – more. ‘Special Requests’ – more. The channel was a success it paid for itself and then it paid the rent then it paid the cast members so he could get them to stay on longer do more stuff even the nonsexual stuff got more popular and the thing just kept growing and growing . . . It got as popular as a mini-disease outbreak people liked the character bit the unexpectedness bit that characters bring and Frank was bout proud enuf to bust. The dear man had found his muse.
He negotiated a dirt cheap rent-to-buy deal with the landlord who I never even saw after that day he and Frank talked, how he got such a good deal in these hard times I dont know maybe I didnt want to know I didnt ask. My guess was he had something dirty on the landlord maybe he made dirty on the landlord yeah he was a real businessman that Frank. Anyway from then on anyone who lived at the house or stayed there even for a single nite had to agree to join pornstars.gld as part of there rental contract with him. He was no dummy Frank he kept everything legal at least everything that legally mattered he kept legal. He became producer/director he rented a second house he set up scenes he put people together kept them on track as to who they were sometimes themselves or partly themselves sometimes the character theyd chose/various combinations of the two Frank was a real director he liked fffucking with things. I was in alot of the early scenes after the imagers was first installed alot of solo stuff but also stuff with Frank and a few times scenes with Thomás. Also Frank made us redo some of the stuff thatd happened before the imagers was put in scenes between me and Frank me and Thomás nonsexual stuff some of it. Frank called it ‘motivational’ material he stuck those in the free rooms. That was how I got to see the beginning of how Thomás and Frank had got together ok I said I guess thats ok I guess thats um fun. Then I just said fffuck it and got off on it. Then thatd get shown me getting off watching them and then I’d get off on that so whatever. Some of it was used some was outtakes.
My position in the house was secure and also it was unique. In exchange for a certain amount of privacy and the rite to come and go with at least some degree of freedom I more or less took over the business end of things the general management of the house/houses and its related CompuSurv channel. I collected and categorized all the raw footage and put final touches on Franks edited versions tho before they could be called finished the vids always had to be approved by him. He was the artist I was his foot soldier ha ha I did more than he thought. I kept track of subscriptions and processed fees did payroll kept accounts. Paid myself too much and what with the channel becoming buzz I didnt do bad plus what with what I skimmed from supply and production funds I eventually had enuf money to buy somebody to kill Shara instead of doing it myself or trying to trick Frank into doing it so that was a relief. Also I could afford to make it quick and clean well not clean really but quick so she never really felt the messy part and it looked like an accident. And that was perfect. Steve needed me even more then. And I needed him.
Frank and Thomás became lifelong lovers the fffuckers tho both had many other partners too and often went with women. They died many years later during the second wave of mutations. Thomás caught it first and Frank ended up shooting him then himself. Kinda sad, and with that last footage the channel died too or at least there was nothing new to add. Eventually I shut it down.
After Shara was dead I moved in with Steve but kept my office at the main house. Frank had a third house going by then and I had two assistants. Steve and I had eight years together. He died painfully but quickly suddenly it always seemed to me of cancer. Lung cancer. He always did smoke too much. Anything he could get his hands on.
PART EIGHT
END